’Twas The Night Before Shopping
Twas the night before shopping, and all through our house
No one was sleeping because of my spouse;
The ad circulars were hung on the wall with great care,
My wife pointing to them saying, “I will be there!”
Our daughter was with her, right by her side
While visions of great deals heightened their pride;
My wife with her purse felt so much alive,
Said, “What are you looking at? You’re going to drive!”
I pleaded and begged and made such a clatter,
“Don’t make me go!” was the gist of my chatter;
Away to the door they flew like a flash,
“You’re wasting our time, make sure you bring cash!”
This now grumpy old driver, so sleepy and ticked,
I knew in a moment that soon I’d be sick.
To the mall we headed, the traffic was near
And then to find parking – my greatest fear.
On street level, on mall level we furiously climbed
On mezzanine, on rooftop but no stalls could I find.
“Just drop us off and meet us inside!”
I took my orders and left in my ride.
Blocks away, I parked the car
The mall in the distance, it was pretty far;
I called my two girls to find what store they were at
They texted an answer and I went to bat.
Outside the store I waited for hours on end
But if Christmas shopping was done, my feelings would mend;
The two came out with nothing in hand,
I yelled, “What happened? This isn’t the plan!”
My wife said “Calm down, I want to check other stores,
For the best deal between them and get the great score.”
My expectation was to hit the big mother lode
But instead I fell silent and my head did explode.
She planted a kiss on the side of my face
And hit the next store without missing a pace;
I said under my breath, as they walked out of sight
“Only 365 more days ’til the next shopping night!”