Trophy Husband

My wife is the office secretary for the parochial school that both our children attended from kindergarten up to the eighth grade. For a number of years she was a stay-at-home mom but was highly involved with the school for the sake of our kids. So much so that, when their secretary retired, they told my wife she might as well just work there.

Even though our kids have both left the school, my wife and I are still quite involved. Of course, she works in the office and I sit on the school board. We’ve become part of their ohana, and my wife loves being around all the kids. I’ve stuck around because I just can’t seem to say no to the nuns.

Every year the school has a “Skate Night” at the Ice Palace. It’s an opportunity for all the students, their parents, faculty and alumni to get together for a fun night of skating. I have to say it’s been going on for at least 18 years, and we’ve gone every year without fail. These days when I attend, my wife introduces me to all the new young parents and their kids. I feel pretty old, as I now can pass for someone’s grandpa.

The age thing also must have lowered my tolerance for the cold. It doesn’t matter how much I layer my clothes, when I hit the Ice Palace, I’m freezing. It takes every little thing to get warm, starting with drinking hot cocoa to running up and down the stairs to work up a bit of a sweat.

That’s exactly what I did this last time at skate night.

Just as I finished working up some perspiration, I went looking for my wife. She was talking with a young woman, the mother of one of the students. I overheard part of the conversation. The young woman was apparently talking about me and said, “That’s your husband? Wow, he looks hot!” A huge grin appeared on my face, and I sneaked away so as not to embarrass the woman.

A few minutes later, I buttonholed my wife. “What are you smiling about?” she asked. I replied, “So that 20-something woman thinks I’m hot, eh?”

My wife laughed. “Well, yeah, you were sweating so much she thought you might be having a heart attack.”