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Lanikai Calendar Sees Woes Parade On Jan. 1

The Fasi Area Rapid Transit (FART) float sparked a media frenzy in an earlier Lanikai Woes Parade. That's Dan Cooke (at 30-something) on the bench interviewing conductor Stephen Rodgers (now Bank of Hawaii's chief investment officer) with unidentified cameraman. Photo from Ted Rodgers.

The Lanikai community has seen beyond the rumored end of the world and scheduled its New Year’s Day Woes Parade for the 45th year, complete with footrace, breakfast, entertainment and a float-filled march through the community to wake up everybody.

The “jolly joggery” race begins at Aalapapa Gate at 8 a.m. Jan. 1, 2013, followed by the “poignant political parody” parade at 9 a.m. (lineup is at Kaiolena and Aalapapa), and the breakfast party at 9:30 a.m. in the pavilion. The party will feature Dixieland music by the Tradewinds Jass Band, the auction of a masterpiece by local artist Mark Brown, float awards and plenty of fellowship, along with Portuguese sausage, sweet bread, eggs, coffee and juice.

The march has a grand history, especially considering the trouble residents go through to choose a yearly theme.

According to veteran theme- and parade-master Ted Rodgers, here’s how it happens: “After extensive discussion and repeated vote (and chad) counts, the 2013 Lanikai Parade theme has been selected: ‘Baywatch, Lanikai.’ ”

The theme is appropriate, Rodgers explained, because of “recent daring and successful rescues at sea by intrepid Lanikai citizenry of tourists in trouble, successful Kontrol of Kommercial Kayaking and a 100-percent successful shark posse.” The theme also makes for easy float designs that use “kids home from school in skimpy bathing suits on boat trailers.”

Earlier floats were more ambitious, he said, recalling the first float of 1968 – a 27-foot-high apartment house fashioned from refrigerator boxes, complete with penthouse. Rodgers built it to parody the defeat of a multi-unit Lanikai housing plan.

More help and woe are appreciated at 262-5212.