Kimo’s Vegas

Fawnia Dietrich at Fawnia’s Pole Fitness Studios. Photo from Kimo Akane

WELCOME TO Kimo’s Vegas … The Player’s Edge!

FOLKS ALWAYS tell me how lucky I am to have a cool job writing about Las Vegas in MidWeek, and they’re right … When I cruise through eBay’s Las Vegas listings, it’s research. The auction for “one week of unlimited Pole Dancing classes” at Fawnia’s Pole Fitness Studios caught my eye. The ad promises you will “Be Sexy, Confident, Beautiful & Ultimately Powerful.” But gentlemen, let me caution you that the ad’s promise of “Makes a Terrific Gift” may sound like a good idea, but it may not be received by your significant other in the spirit it was given. Besides, those ladies look like they can scrap!

LAST WEEK, Las Vegas hosted hundreds of women in the 2013 U.S. National Pole Championships. While some of the contestants make a living doing what you think one traditionally does with a pole, the organizers shy away from those conceptions, hoping the athletic, artistic choreography of “pole dancing” will someday make it an Olympic sport. No offense, but I think if you give folks the choice between watching people in ski masks shooting a rifle or watching bikini-clad ladies on a pole, the Norwegian military exercise is a big looser (with the extra “o”) every time.

KEVIN FEDERLINE, most famous for marrying Britney Spears and being her baby daddy, married longtime girlfriend Victoria Prince last week. He proposed Friday (Aug. 9) and they walked down the aisle the next night at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas. The couple has one keiki together, but K-Fed has fathered enough children (five) to start his own volleyball team.

IF YOU’VE GOT too much money … or not enough time, the folks at can help separate you from some of your kala. For $146K (that’s right $146 followed by a comma, three zeros in front of the decimal), they will set you up with a tour of the 12 best casinos in the world. The “never been done before experience” takes just over a month and will have you hanging your hat at The Venetian Macao, Wynn Macau, The Casino de Monte Carlo in Monaco, Casino Baden-Baden in Germany, in Las Vegas at the Bellagio, Caesars Palace, The Venetian, MGM and Foxwood in Connecticut, Atlantic City’s 1Trump Taj Mahal, Atlantis Paradise in the Bahamas and the Park Hyatt Mendoza in Argentina. Cash for incidentals like meals, libations, gambling, shopping and tips for the regular people is extra … Lemme know if you need someone to carry your bags and tip money.

HEIDI FLEISS, the Hollywood madam who got busted for enabling the rich, wealthy and famous to purchase their pleasure for more than the average person makes in a week, is apparently still in the pleasure business. Authorities say they found 392 pakalolo plants in her Pahrump, Nev., home. She said she was growing the plants for a Las Vegas cooperative. Police charged but did not arrest her for possession of marijuana with intent to sell, possession of drug paraphernalia and maintaining a home where drugs are sold/used.

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