Flower Power

With the exception of numerous apologetic gestures to my wife over our years of marriage, I don’t think I’ve seen or had the need for so many flowers in my life. With Memorial Day around the same time as all the graduations, florists in Hawaii must be doing gangbusters. And that’s just from me.

I guess the older I get, the more we see our friends’ and relatives’ kids graduate from school, equating to more lei and bouquets than were thrown at Elvis during his concert here at the NBC Arena. On the flip side, the older I get, the more graves there are of friends and relatives who have passed, equating to, well, a lot more flowers than at Elvis’ funeral.

On Memorial Day weekend, I was tasked with purchasing flowers for all the graves we visit as well as for graduations we would be able to attend. I mentally made a count of all the flower bunches and lei I would need, and decided I had to take a class in advanced algebra first. Yes, it was that many.

Of course, flowers are not free, so I then had to calculate what the costs would be compared to how much money I had in our checking account. The result of my calculations told me that I needed to take out a home equity loan or borrow from my 401(k). Yes, it was that much.

OK, I exaggerate, but it sure felt like a lot of flowers and money. I had borrowed my mom’s Toyota Camry for the purchases, although it might not have been the best vehicle as her air conditioner is not working up to par. But I rolled down all the windows and literally filled the back seat with flowers. It was like I had an entire garden back there, something Martha Stewart would likely drive if she was in The Fast and Furious 6.

When I got home, I didn’t want to unload the car, but I figured my wife would be home shortly and then I could simply transfer them into her air-conditioned vehicle. I went into the house to await my beloved wife. The next thing I knew, I was awakened from a deep sleep by the much-elevated voice of my beloved, screaming, “Ron, why did you leave all the flowers in the hot car?” I ran outside to see that, like Martha Stewart, I just created a lifetime batch of potpourri.