Enforcement Lax On Improper Signs

This Kapahulu surf shop advertises for unfluoridated water BOB JONES PHOTO

This Kapahulu surf shop advertises for unfluoridated water BOB JONES PHOTO

It would be hypocritical for me to rage against advertising. Ads finance my MidWeek columns. Ads paid my 28 years of KGMB-TV salary. When I was at NBC News, advertisers chipped in an extra $150 beyond my salary for every story that played on the Huntley-Brinkley Report.

America’s economy rides on product ads, although I laugh over those drug ads on TV that warn you that as the medicine cures your allergy it also may cause a fatal stroke, blindness or loss of hearing.

We’ve consistently been death on outdoor advertising in Hawaii. No billboards — unlike most all Mainland cities and towns with their stacked boards for fast-food outlets and motels. But you have to keep your defense up.

I spotted a huge side-of-building political ad against fluoridated water on Kapahulu Avenue. It does not qualify as a site-of-business ad under our law since it’s not advertising surfboards — the interior business. It’s advertising unfluoridated water.

If it’s called “free speech,” then it must be challenged, just as we’re challenging Aerial Banners North to keep ads out of our skies.

I wish we’d fought harder against those Wyland seascape building-billboards. They’re a horrible incursion. Art as a billboard is still a billboard.

I cannot imagine a Waikiki with planes buzzing overhead trailing “Eat At Mike’s” or “I Love You, Ginnie” banners.

I’d really have to consider moving to the Galapagos, not just joking about it!

I think I’ve just figured out what’s really going on with the state of our state:

* We’ve let house prices and rents escalate to unaffordability so that people will quit moving here and some native-born residents will move out — thus stabilizing our population.

* We’ve allowed many cars per family so roads will get so crowded that people will give up cars.

* Gov. Abercrombie proposed taxing pensions so old people would move to non-tax states and save us medical-care money for younger, healthier people.

* The Air Force is cutting jobs here so workers will live and look elsewhere.

* HECO lets the power fail after every little rainstorm so immigrants from Third World countries will say “things are better back home.”

* Our schools remain underachievers so mainlanders don’t contemplate moving here with their children.

* Our heavy regulation keeps Mainland businesses from taking up precious space in the Islands.

* We tax income heavily, lest residents of no-income-tax Washington, Texas, Florida, etc., think they’d be better off here because we have fewer major storms.

It’s all part of a plan, folks. So hang in there …for as long as you can.

I’m a proponent of hula mua, so I feel odd arguing that a piece of classic Hawaiian music should be untouchable by musical innovators. But here goes.

Memo to talented, young slack key composer Danny Carvalho: The late 1800s composition Hi’ilawe by Sam Li’a Kalainaina Sr. and made popular by Gabby Pahinui is not meant to be performed as jazz with bass guitar and snare drums.

My recommendation: Just leave it be.