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Lifestyle // Moonlighting
Jade Moon

Let The Poor Eat Rats And Birds, He Said

I’m in a grumpy mood. I’m about to go visit my son in West Virginia. That’s good.

But I have a cold. That’s bad. Nothing like flying while doped up on meds, watching people all around you shrink away and give you dirty looks. Yeah, Typhoid Jade, that’s me.

I decided to create a website and blog. That’s good.

I know nothing about either one. That’s bad.

I’ve learned enough to actually cobble one together, but I keep having to revise and revise and revise. My cold-addled brain was too befuddled to think of a name, so I took the easy way out and just used my own – all part of the creative process (I keep telling myself). You can see it at www.jademoon808.com. Yeah, I’m likely to revise some more until I’m completely satisfied, which may be never. Still, the thought of doing all that work and no one seeing it makes me grumpy. Please don’t add to my grumpiness.

But here’s what really makes my bad mood sink into an underground cesspool of hell. A guy emailed in response to my column on helping people in the Philippines and donating to Hawaii Foodbank.

He started off by saying, “I never donate food and here’s why.”

So he goes on a rant about feral cats and too many dogs and people feeding pigeons and mallard ducks breeding with just about anything. I understand he is upset about the decimation of native Hawaiian plants and animals. Well, I can see that. I don’t like it either.

But then he asks, “All around the island people complain about feral chickens and roosters, but when have you seen the food bank – or anyone else – teach anyone how to pluck feathers?”

Say what?

He goes on, “Although dogs and cats produce tasty lean meat and pigeon pie is famous around the world, when and where have you seen any such meat on a menu? Polynesians brought the Pacific rat to our island to provide their children with meat, and missionaries brought the black and Norway rat, but when have you seen rat on the menu? There is no reason for anyone on Oahu to go hungry when there is an abundance of food available!”

Umm. So let me get this straight. He does not donate food, ever. OK, that’s his choice and I have no problem with that.

But the reason he doesn’t donate is because he thinks down-and-out people should be catching feral chickens and rats and cats and dogs and plucking and skinning the critters themselves. And then they should bake tasty pigeon pies and simmer up savory rat stew, and feed that to their hungry families.

I have to say, I’m sort of speechless.

And even grumpier now.

jmoonjones@aol.com
Twitter: @JadeMoon1

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