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Lifestyle // What's Next
Ron Nagasawa

Inspector General

I don’t know about you, but my weekends are for relaxing. I purposely try not to schedule anything that will require my physical labor, although when there are household chores, the weekends are the only time I can pretty much accommodate them. So I will try to leave one day open for my leisure, usually Saturday.

This past weekend, I finally had an open schedule where I had absolutely nothing to do other than putter around the house. All that would change with a single call I received at work the Friday prior. It was our termite treatment company. They wanted to schedule the annual inspection of our house.

Since all I would have to do is let them in the house, I made the appointment for the next day, Saturday morning. No big deal, I thought, and it wasn’t until I went to bed that night that I remembered to tell my wife. The reaction I got was probably the equivalent of casually mentioning Michelle Obama was going to drop by.

She jumped up and yelled, “Ron, our house is a mess! I am not going to let you have someone go through all the rooms!” I looked around and thought the house looked pretty good. She proceeded to tell me to set the alarm clock for 6 a.m., when we would both get up to clean the house before the inspection.

I tried to reason with her. “Honey, the inspector is actually looking for dirt or wood dust, which might indicate an infestation.” Oblivious to that, she said I was to vacuum the entire house while she cleaned the bathrooms, then she bid me a “good night.” As I laid there in bed, I was trying to think of someone to blame for ruining my Saturday.

The next morning, like the obedient husband I am, I awoke and went straight to running a vacuum cleaner through the entire house. My wife moved like a superhero, cleaning room-to-room at unhuman speed. When the inspector came in, she made an unneeded apology, “So sorry that our house is such a mess.” I rolled my eyes, as we could have done open-heart surgery in our house, it was that clean. Well, the inspection went fine and absolutely no termites were detected. I think the termites left for fear that my wife would have them clean up their mess. There’s easier wood to be eaten.

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