An East-West approach to relationships
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Karinna Kittles-Karsten is a familiar face to many. For starters, her striking features have graced the pages of some of the world’s top magazines, including Glamour, Mademoiselle and Cosmopolitan, and her business savvy has led to endorsement work with high-end beauty companies like Lancôme.
But it is Kittles-Karsten’s work behind closed doors - or, to put it another way, her work helping others behind closed doors - that has gained her worldwide fame over the past 20 years.
Kittles-Karsten is a love guru of sorts. She is an internationally recognized speaker, author and founder of Sacred Love Inc., a Los Angeles-based intimacy multimedia and luxury product company. And she is a former Hawaii resident whose newest book, Intimate Wisdom: The Sacred Art of Love, was first inspired by her time on the Islands.
“Hawaii is a magical place for romance,” she says. “For me, this is based on the sensual beauty of the earth, sky, beaches and vegetation on the land as well as the perfect temperature.Together they provide the ideal environment to be romantic or think about romance in general.”
When living on the North Shore a few years ago, Kittles-Karsten began developing a program she had first started while in New York City. She called the program Sacred Love and based her teachings on the ancient Chinese ideas and methods for sharing intimacy. Through her public classes at various venues around Oahu, she was able to see how students responded to the materials and what needed to be tweaked.
“Hawaii is a global melting pot,” the author explains. “There is such a natural blend of East and West in Hawaii. Native Hawaiians represent the heart and center of East and West, and then there are people from Japan, China and many other Eastern nations living side by side with Mainlanders. This dynamic made me realize that I needed to include some of East and West in my book.”
What Kittles-Karsten ultimately penned was a how-to guide on ways to enhance the different areas and stages of intimate relationships, and the book is divided into parts that correspond with these life stages. “Part 1 The Sacred Lover” is a chance for the reader to begin a relationship with herself as a great partner and to discover how to invite love into her life, while “Part 2 The Talent of Loving Another” zeroes in on cultivating what is necessary to create, enjoy and sustain a loving, passionate partnership.
The deeper you read, the more intimate the approaches become.
“I weave the sacred intimacy arts of ancient China with Western psychology and mythology,” she expounds, saying this East-meets-West approach offers a balance useful in areas other than the bedroom.
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“The Western methods address the analytical mind and help us question our cultural or personal mythologies (beliefs), out of which we create our relationships. The Eastern ideas and practices presented offer more in addressing our emotions, physical expression and spiritual connection within relationships. This blend of ideas gives us a well-rounded approach to create and enjoy better relationships.”
The Savannah, Ga., native says her fascination with love and intimacy began after she was signed with Elite Modeling Agency in New York City at age 17. While working the runways throughout America, Europe and Asia, Kittles-Karsten also was taking in the different cultures each new destination had to offer.
“Being young and romantic, I fell in love several times and was fascinated to observe how people expressed intimacy differently around the world,” she recalls.
It was also during this point in her life that she was introduced to Mantak Chia, a world-renowned Chinese master of Taoist arts, and ultimately to the concept of integrating sexual intimacy and spirituality.
Kittles-Karsten began a rigorous study of both Eastern and Western intimacy methodologies, noting along the way how understanding - and perhaps implementing - different practices from different cultures can lead to a better grasp of a person’s own love life.
“In Eastern cultures, like Japan, you don’t often see PDAs (public displays of affection). When people court each other, they often look like good friends. However, as their love blossoms and they take their coupling behind closed doors, they can reveal very sensual and skillful qualities for enjoying intimacy.
“In the States, we enjoy being romantic and showing affection. We also have a desire to make our love lives better. However, sometimes there is a tendency to talk more than we actually do. In other words, looks are often deceiving when it comes to intimacy.”
Kittles-Karsten now works as a certified Taoist educator specializing in teaching the Chinese art of love through The Healing Tao Institute of America and The International Healing Tao Association. She is a regular on the national and international guest-speaker scene, having given talks at New York University, the Learning Annex, on NBC’s Starting Over and most recently appearing on the premiere episode of the UK’s new show Million Dollar Romance. She also has given advice on radio shows and Internet blogs as well as to readers in Cosmopolitan and SELF.
Since moving from Oahu to Los Angeles in 2002, Kittles-Karsten’s own intimate life has grown positively. She married her husband Timothy, founded her media company (for more, visit http://www.sacredlove.com) and though her lips remain sealed for now, she tantalizes that there are a few more projects in the works.
“I have always had a desire to grow in intimacy - it’s actually a personal passion. However, just like many people, sometimes the opportunities to grow in intimacy are difficult, and sometimes they are a cakewalk. In the end, when I am objective enough, I love them all.”
Kittles-Karsten will be at Borders in Victoria Ward Center from 4 to 5 p.m. Dec. 27 to sign copies of her book. She invites friends both old and new to stop by for a few minutes while en route to other holiday activities.
Who knows; maybe an introduction to the “The Love Educator” will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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