Behind The Scenes Of Obama Cover

‘08: Year of Obama

It was the last week of 2007 when I wrote that headline for the cover of our Jan. 2, 2008, issue, an intentional wordplay on the approaching Chinese New Year, Year of the Rat.

I tried other headline ideas, scribbling in a notepad, but kept returning to that one, even as part of my brain was screaming, “Idiot, Obama hasn’t won anything yet!”

So, yes, I knew MidWeek was taking a chance with such a bold prediction. But there was also another part of my brain, or gut, or something, maybe just an editor’s intuition, that made me go with ‘08: Year of Obama.

In light of last week’s stunning election, it’s looking pretty good.

The idea for MidWeek‘s first cartoon cover began with publisher Ron Nagasawa. In looking at photos with senior editor Terri Hefner, including several excellent shots we obtained from our cousins at the Star-Bulletin and from the Des Moines Register (Obama had been campaigning in Iowa leading up to the first caucuses), nothing was jumping out at us as a compelling cover shot.

That’s when Ron said, “Let’s ask Roy Chang to draw Obama.”

When I called our ace editorial cartoonist, he was immediately excited by the assignment. When, a few days later, Roy showed us the drawing of Obama with both Diamond Head and the White House, we too were excited, and pleased.

Creative director Gina Lambert completed the package by choosing a perfect font for the headline. And Dan Boylan’s cover story was insightful.

All of which further proves my belief that journalism is the world’s greatest team sport, and that the MidWeek team is as good as they come.

(Regular readers also will recall that, in the interest of fairness and balance, we would later publish a cover story on Sen. John McCain.)

Regardless of which candidate you favored, I was most pleased by the number of Americans who voted, and especially the enthusiasm shown by people in their 20s, my children’s generation. More than anything, that bodes well for the future of our American republic.

The headline I’d write for Obama in 2009:

The Year of Getting to Work

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A Rewarding Award Weekend

In Dallas to accept MidWeek‘s award from the American Cancer Society, I was reminded of how much Texas and Hawaii share in common.

Really.

Yes, there are obvious differences - Texas being the largest state by far in the “Lower 48” and Hawaii being one of the smallest states in land area. But beyond that, there are remarkable similarities.

For starters, Hawaii and Texas are the only two of our 50 states that were once independent nations.

No two other states can boast lively, homegrown music industries that write and sing about the glories and legends of their home states, both relying heavily on steel guitar.

And both states have local cuisines unique to them, each derived from rich multi-ethnic traditions, including smoked meats - we like teriyaki, they prefer thick, vinegar-based red-brown sauces.

And as in Hawaii, I was greeted each day with a rainbow of ethnic hues, something I’ve come to prefer (over monochrome faces) during 29 years in these Islands. The Dallas-Fort Worth “metroplex” is home to nearly 7 million people hailing from every corner of the world. The primary ethnic groups are Caucasians, Mexicans and African Americans, but as my taxi driver last Monday said en route to the DFW airport, “Dallas is like New York City - any kind of people you want, you can find here.” He is a native of Congo, but after 20 years in Dallas is a true Texan - knowledgeable and passionate about the Dallas Cowboys and University of Texas Longhorns football teams.

The bellman at the Crowne Plaza Dallas Market Center hotel who’d helped load my bags was from Bulgaria.

The cabbie who upon my arrival several days earlier drove me from the airport to the hotel, Abbas, was from Sudan.

He turned out to be one of two Muslims with whom I enjoyed very interesting conversations, both personal and theological, deep in the heart of the Bible Belt. (Confession: Before taking up the pen, as an undergrad I minored in theology and later spent two semesters in a seminary.)

The second was Shubar, an Iraq native, who was a shuttle van driver employed by the hotel. A Shia Muslim from Basra in southern Iraq, he’d fled the country as a teenager with his brother.

“Many people in my family were killed by Saddam,” he said. “My brother and I were told that if we stayed one more night, we would be dead.”

They ended up in a refugee camp in Saudi Arabia, before Shubar found his way to Dallas a decade ago.

Although he would like to be home in Iraq, he is busy working on the American dream. Stylishly dressed in slacks, dress shirt and necktie, Shubar drives the hotel shuttle van from 2 to 10 p.m., answering his cell phone with a hip, “Hey, what’s happening, man?” Then he goes to work as an overnight delivery driver for a bakery. In his free time, he buys old cars, fixes them up and sells them.

Four years ago, after the Sunni dictator Saddam Hussein’s capture, he and his brother returned to Iraq for the first time since they fled.

“It was wonderful,” Shubar says. “Every day for three months it was like a party. Everyone wanted to cook dinner for us. I had to ask my mother, ‘Where should we go today?’”

While there, he met an attractive young woman, and they were married.

“She is a good Muslim, so of course she was a virgin,” Shubar said. “But on our wedding night, we made a baby.”

That child, a girl, is now 3. His son is 1. He showed me photos, and they are both beautiful little cherubs. “They are my heart,” he said.

When he learned my mother was at that moment in a hospital and not doing well, he offered to pray to Allah for her, and later reported that he had. “The Koran teaches,” he said, tapping his chest above his heart, “that God is above all, and second below God is your mother. You must never say anything bad or angry to your mother.”

The last time I saw Shubar we embraced, and he gave me a string of Muslim prayer beads, a cherished gift.

So when, back home again, I heard on the TV news another ignoramus say she could not vote for Barack Obama because he “might be a Muslim,” I had to say (this election season has me talking to the TV way more than usual): “He’s not, he was baptized a Christian, as an adult, but so freakin’ what if he were Muslim?”

The Muslims I have known, including Shubar, have been among the most decent people I’ve met. (They in fact remind me of my Mormon friends in their upright morality, dedication to family and charity in helping less fortunate members of their community.)

Yes, as both Shubar and the cabbie Abbas said, there are Muslims who take Allah’s name in vain by killing in his name. “They are wrong,” Abbas said, fingering the Koran he keeps on his dashboard. “They do not please God.”

I was certainly pleased, and blessed, to meet Abbas and especially Shubar.

As for that award - for a MidWeek cover story about seven women who beat breast cancer, written by Alice Keesing with photographs by Nathalie Walker - it was gratifying to hear fellow award winners from the Dallas Morning News, Daily Oklahoman, Omaha World-Herald, Lincoln Journal Star and others rave about our story and cover photo (copies of the the newspaper winners were posted on a big bulletin board at the awards luncheon.) In fact, I was told that in the weekly newspaper category, judges gave MidWeek‘s story scores of 10, except one who rated it a 9. A Cancer Society official told me, “There were a lot of good entries in the weekly category, but you were so far in front there was no second place.” (See Hot Shots on page 20 for a photo from the awards luncheon. In addition to print media, awards also were given to radio and TV reporters.)

In accepting the award, I commented that the response to our story came from women with breast cancer as well as their families, who called and e-mailed that the story gave them renewed hope, and in my experience there may be no more powerful ally in fighting cancer than hope.

I hadn’t planned on saying this, but in closing - and being so proud to be among so many good journalists - another thought hit me:

“I’m looking forward to this election being done as much as anything because I’m so tired of hearing the media criticized. If anyone says anything negative to you about the media ...” - and here I paused and pointed to the bulletin board covered with well-crafted and inspirational stories about courage, human resiliency, faith and hope - “… tell them this is what we do.”

I noticed then another award winner in the audience, a woman who twice beat breast cancer, applauding with tears in her eyes.

And not to get all preachy on you, but ... That pro-rail “Eddie Would Ride” bumper sticker is an absolute sacrilege. It’s dishonest, and dishonors the life and memory of Eddie Aikau.

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Savings In MidWeek,Nice Awards

When times get tough, as they most assuredly are, the tough turn to MidWeek.

And the wise.

Throughout the pages of MidWeek you’ll find great savings from our advertisers. In particular, grocery inserts from Times, Star, Foodland and Safeway point you to the best deals on everyone’s most basic necessity, food.

Likewise, restaurants are offering some terrific deals. You’ll find those on pages 65 through 68.

And there are more savings throughout the publication.

As the editor, my primary focus is on editorial content, but it is our advertisers who pay the bills and make it possible for 268,000 Oahu homes to receive MidWeek free of charge twice a week.

While we hope you’ll support the advertisers who make that possible, as a guy worried about his own 401K and other investments, I want to encourage you to take advantage of the savings our advertisers offer every week.

Combined with the broadest spectrum of opinion you’ll find in any American newspaper, plus entertaining and informative features and photos about local people and events, the savings available through our advertisers makes MidWeek unique, and quite a value.

And that’s some good news for you.

* I’m no economist, but it seems to me that while everyone I know is into saving money, if I spend some money at Business A, the people who work there benefit and have money to spend at Business B, and people at that establishment have money to spend with my company, on and on.

Call it the economic circle of life.

* You may recall the cover story we did in October of last year on seven breast cancer survivors, one in her 20s, as well as women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s, titled “Sisterhood of Survivors.”

During the summer we entered it in a journalism contest sponsored by the American Cancer Society, and just received notice that we won first place in the large market feature story category.

Kudos go especially to writer Alice Keesing, photographer Nathalie Walker and page designer Gina Lambert for putting together a compelling package of words and images.

By the way, and I’ll ask why when I accept the award at a luncheon in Dallas in coming days, Hawaii was grouped in the ACS’ High Plains Region with Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas.

Whatever the reason, there are some excellent big city newspapers in those states, so we’re all the more proud of this latest award for our trophy case.

* Speaking of awards:

MidWeek and our cousins at the Star-Bulletin were involved in judging an essay contest - on the most inspirational woman in the writer’s life - for the recent fifth annual International Women’s Leadership Conference, hosted by Gov. Linda Lingle. Five MidWeek female journalists read the essays and were deeply touched by many of them. In the end, Melissa Pavlicek was named the winner for an essay on her mother-in-law Eloise Teves’ selfless devotion to her family.

It was quite appropriate, because after attending an earlier conference Melissa was inspired to start her own business, Hawaii Public Policy.

The conference was very impressive, bringing in accomplished women to share their stories, including the chief of police in Washington D.C., the first African-American woman Marine Corps jet fighter pilot, a woman CEO in the aerospace industry and a female Army general.

It’s an event with which we are proud to be affiliated, and are already looking forward to reading some more essays and being inspired again next year.

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Ben’s Book, Great Quotes, Etc.

I had a chance to chat with former Gov. Ben Cayetano recently when my son and his grandson graduated from the Honolulu Fire Department academy in the same class. Among other things, I asked about the memoir he’s writing.

“I’ll tell you this,” he replied, “if I ever write another book, it’s not going to be non-fiction. With non-fiction, you have to check and check and check to get your facts straight.”

“Welcome to my world, Governor,” I said.

“I mean it, if I ever write another book, it’s going to be fiction - you can just make stuff up.”

I mentioned this conversation to MidWeek political columnist Dan Boylan, who said he’d heard from a number of Ben’s former associates who’ve received late-night calls from him, asking for their recollection of specific details.

The manuscript is currently with the publisher, the governor says, and he expects to do some revisions before it goes to press.

Ben was certainly our most tell-it-like-it-is governor, and I’m looking forward to reading his book. * Got a kick out of meeting new UH football coach Greg McMackin when I was invited as a guest to hear him speak to the Pearl Harbor Rotary. With his warm, outgoing demeanor, in public he’s the anti-June Jones. And I liked this honest assesment:

“I’m still in the honeymoon phase. People are always coming up, shaking my hand, saying nice things. Of course, I haven’t lost a game yet.”

I also liked that he’s told his players to get physically fit enough to perform in the searing heat and humidity of an August afternoon in Gainesville, in the season opener against the tough Florida Gators:

“I told ‘em there will be no leaning over with your hands on your knees when you get gassed. Do that and you’re coming out of the game. We will not show any sign of weakness.” * Master sommelier Roberto Viernes’ recent MidWeek column on great wine quotes reminded me of this one from the late, great Robert Mondavi, spoken at the Kapalua Food & Wine Festival circa 1988: “Just because I like a wine doesn’t make it a good wine. What makes it a good wine is if you like it.” * Speaking of quotes: This is from a San Francisco Chronicle online columnist known as The Betting Fool, regarding Michelle Wie’s disqualification from a tournament for failing to sign her scorecard:

“How do you forget to sign a scorecard? Good Lord, it’s a wonder she can remember her phone number. How in the hell did she get into Stanford? ... Have you ever listened to a Michelle Wie press conference? You can practically hear the air rushing through her head as she talks.”

Ouch.

* I will say this: Michelle’s decision to pass up playing in an LPGA “major” - the Women’s British Open last week - in favor of playing what amounts to an exhibition against second-tier male pros in Reno is a head-scratcher. So she proved again she can’t make the cut against men. She needs to prove she can beat the women. If she can.

* I was sorry to hear of the recent death of Rocky Aoki, the colorful Benihana founder and adventurer. Back in September 1979, a month before I would move to Hawaii to begin work as a daily columnist at the Advertiser, I was the outdoor columnist at the San Jose Mercury News and was supposed to accompany Rocky on a test run out of the Golden Gate in a 38-foot offshore racing boat, on the day before a big ocean race. But at the last minute my editor decreed he wanted me in the office writing headlines instead. I was not pleased, to put it mildly. But it turned out to be a lucky thing. Racing at 70 mph, the boat hit a huge wave and disintegrated. Rocky suffered a ruptured aorta, a lacerated liver and a leg broken in four places. When I heard the news, I kind of felt better about that editor.

Condolences to his family, including his son Kevin Aoki, who runs the excellent Doraku Sushi at the Royal Hawaiian Center.

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The Education Of A Firefighter

Little did I know when my son Kai began training as a Honolulu Fire Department recruit in March that I would be receiving an education myself. But by the time he graduated on July 18 with 20 others in HFD’s 93rd recruit class, having lived vicariously through his four and a half months of training, I had a greater understanding and even more respect for our firefighters and what they bravely yet routinely do.

Which seems to be just about everything and anything.

Once he began training, seemingly every day on the news I noticed firefighters rescuing people from flaming buildings, sink holes, crane collapses, car accidents, home medical emergencies, chemical spills, natural disasters, and boating, swimming and hiking incidents. One of the senior officers who spoke at the graduation ceremony said that he’d participated in some of Class 93’s training because firefighters today are expected to learn and do so much more than they were just a few years ago - including experiencing a “flashover,” when heat from a fire builds up to 1,200 to 1,500 degrees and in an instant combusts everything in the room.

Yes, I’m writing as Kai’s very proud Pops, but also as a huge admirer of the men and women in those yellow trucks and fire-retardant uniforms. These people are truly elite, in the very best sense of the term. To put it in perspective: 5,000 people requested applications for the last HFD test, 4,000 people submitted applications, just 600 passed the test. From there, a grueling physical test and personal interviews narrowed the field, and Kai and his classmates were among the top 88 chosen. Happily, his brother Daniel Andrade begins training next month in HFD recruit Class 94, following their older brother James Andrade, a seven-year veteran, into the department. Class No. 94 will be the final group of 22 chosen from that last testing phase.

But that’s just the start of testing.

Kai and his classmates - who include the grandsons of former Gov. Ben Cayetano and legendary coach Al Minn - were tested on an almost daily basis, both academics and physical skills.

And they were allowed to fail just three tests, with one more opportunity, on the spot, to retake and pass the test. Fail that - or your fourth test overall - and you’re gone. So the pressure was on every day. As I commented after the graduation ceremony to lead training officer Captain Guy Katayama, Kai studied harder at the HFD academy than he did at Kamehameha or HPU. “They have to,” he replied. “It’s pretty intense.”

Kai’s training began with him and his classmates learning how to quickly put on their “turnouts” - protective boots, pants, jacket, gloves, helmet/mask and air supply - not as simple as it sounds to protect every inch of skin and seal out smoke, ash and water.

From there it was everything from learning how to use the various ladders, implements and hoses, using the “Jaws of Life” to cut open a car and doing traffic control, learning to tie all kinds of rope knots, passing national EMT certification (he did a stint doing “vitals” in the St. Francis West ER), two weeks of hazardous materials training, and lots of physical conditioning. Hearing about his first house fire and being “on the nozzle” brought home the reality - especially for me - of the career he was embracing. So too did his being on the nozzle for a training fire at the Chevron refinery, where he found himself almost knee-deep in a mixture of oil and water that began to burn. Unable to move the spray of water off the much bigger fire, they were trained to simply kick the floating flames to the side. He honestly seemed to enjoy that day as much as jumping out of a helicopter into the ocean at Sandy Beach, practicing ocean rescues.

Then there was learning triage for mass casualties - doing quick tests to decide who needs immediate medical care, whose injuries can wait and who is too badly injured to be saved. One of the firefighters who was first on the scene at the awful Sacred Falls rock fall spoke to the class about the emotional difficulty of identifying a woman who’d suffered massive internal injuries and for whom nothing could be done to save her. It hit me then that in his job Kai would be seeing things that I’d never wanted him to see as a little boy. “I know, Dad,” he said, “but people need us.”

Indeed, they - we - do. As Kai’s training progressed, I was increasingly impressed with the thorough preparation he and his classmates were receiving - first in the classroom, then outside to do it physically - as well as the discipline and camaraderie. When I think of the dangers he could face on any given day, that training makes me feel better.

Yes, as Kai goes to work at Engine Company 33 in Palolo Valley, I am indeed a very proud father. But each of us on Oahu can be proud of, and daily thankful for, all the men and women of the Honolulu Fire Department.

To each of you fire folks, thanks, God bless and stay safe.

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‘Most Wanted’ Are Now Behind Bars

Way to go, MidWeek readers! Thanks to you, the Honolulu Police Department and CrimeStoppers have accomplished a 100 percent arrest rate for the 10 Most Wanted criminals who appeared on our May 28 cover.

For the record, one of the 10, Moesolo Tuiloma, had died in prison but paperwork didn’t reach CrimeStoppers by the time we went to press, and the warrant for Mellisa Magbitang was subsequently recalled.

So we’re batting a solid eight for eight in ‘08.

In case you missed it, this year’s Most Wanted class were all involved in crystal methamphetamine - ice - in some way. As we said in the story, this is where ice leads, “first to a really crummy life and then to prison.” The case of Tuiloma - dying in prison - says it all. If there is a sadder, more pathetic way to die, what would it be?

By the way, since we began doing Most Wanted cover stories in 1995, we’re averaging about nine out of 10 captured. Yes, this is the one MidWeek cover on which nobody wants to appear - thanks to our readers.

As it turned out, I was attending the annual CrimeStoppers awards luncheon last Wednesday when CrimeStoppers coordinator Sgt. Kim Buffet shared the news that all of the fugitives were accounted for. It was a great feeling to have police officers, including Chief Boisse Correa, walk up and shake my hand and say thanks for what MidWeek does for our community.

The thanks here goes entirely to you, our readers. We work with CrimeStoppers to publish the story and photographs, but readers make the calls. Sgt. Buffet says that calls started coming in to CrimeStoppers immediately after the story was published, and that they received 35 tips that led to the arrest of the eight criminals by HPD officers.

Also of interest: At the luncheon Sgt. Buffet reported that in 2007 CrimeStoppers handled 968 tips that led to the arrest or case-closing of 268 criminals, and paid out more than $13,000 in rewards for anonymous tips that led to arrests. For the Student CrimeStoppers program, 85 tips led to 26 school actions and 64 arrests.

Kudos, too, to Ramsay Wharton of KGMB-TV, who also received an award at the luncheon. About half of her “Wanted Wednesday” criminals have ended up behind bars.

It’s a tough world out there, and CrimeStoppers does an outstanding job of removing criminals from our midst. All of us at MidWeek are proud to be associated with such an outstanding organization. In fact, each time we heard of an arrest of one of the Most Wanted, there were fist pumps in the office worthy of Tiger Woods.

Go ahead, MidWeek readers, give it a fist pump, too.

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D.K. And The Mad Sushi Scientists

After a sneak preview of the new sushi dishes that D.K. Kodama is introducing to his Sansei menu this week - which I’ll take over a sneak preview of Indiana Jones or the new line of cars from Detroit any day - I was reminded of Jack Nicklaus’ comment after watching Tiger Woods play golf for the first time: “He’s playing a game with which I am unfamiliar.”

Because as much time as I have spent in sushi bars over the years, I’ve never encountered anything quite like this.

Sure, D.K. and others have previously rolled out, so to speak, “Spider Rolls,” for example, but those still use traditional ingredients. Likewise for California rolls, Texas rolls and Philly rolls - variations on a theme that is centuries old.

But now D.K. is taking raw fish, fresh local produce and amazing sauces to create entirely new kinds of tastes.

“D.K. and the guys in the kitchen have been working on new sushi items that utilize less rice,” says general manager Ivy Nagayama.

I can’t help thinking of “D.K. and the guys in the kitchen” as the mad scientists of sushi: “Ah ha ha ha, taste this!”

Taste this, indeed, which we happily did last week:

Torched Kona Kampachi sashimi stuffed with sweet Maui onions, chiso and Tsukodani Yuzu Aioli and drizzlied with chili pepper tosazu ($14). The meat is firm, the sauces lightly spicy.

Or this: Japanese Hamachi and Grilled Shiitake Mushroom Tartare ($12) with truffled soy sauce, orange tobiko and chiso chiffonade ($12). It’s a tight little mound that looks like traditional poke, but tastes nothing like it. My notes from the evening for this entry read simply, “Omigod!” Ivy says it’s her favorite among the new dishes.

Then there was the Fresh Salmon Asian Carpaccio with zesty green apple-soy salsa and ikura herb salad ($12). The salmon melts in the mouth.

On the spicy side: Cajun Seared White Tuna sashimi with shaved Maui onions, red jalapeno and yukke sauce ($12).

D.K. and the Mad Sushi Scientists (now there’s a name for a band) have been a busy bunch. We also tasted:

Matsuhia Style Miso Butterfish marinated and roasted in sake and sweet miso ($11). This was perhaps the most traditional Japanese dish we sampled, but it’s several steps beyond any butterfish I’ve tasted previously. The fish is Alaskan cod.

Also semi-traditional is the Grilled Fresh Hawaiian Ahi with Sansei’s award-winning Asian Shrimp Cake with furikake yaki onigiri, ginger lime chili butter and cilantro pesto ($25), but just semi.

Spiny Lobster Tail topped with panko-crusted Spicy Crab Cake over Capellini pasta tossed with Island vegetables and creamy Sambal Aioli ($43) nearly brought us to our feet in standing ovation. The lobster was tender and smoky, the zing of the crab cake and the buttery thin noodles a fantastic complement.

Bringing down the house was Panko Crusted Ahi sashimi roll wrapped in layers of arugula and spinach, flash-fried and served in a mild soy-wasabi butter sauce ($11). The combination of crunch and smooth textures was wonderful. No wonder this one took first place at Taste of Lahaina.

Throughout these tastes, Jamie Robinson was proving why he’s perhaps the top Caucasian sake expert in town. We tried two of the three sake samplers, each a flight of three sakes ($14). The Shogun - that’s me - includes, starting with the lightest: Masumi “Okuden Kantsukuri,” called the mirror of truth, quite smooth; Kokuryu “500 Mangoku,” called black dragon, a deeper and richer flavor, and Kampoizumi “Junai Daiginjo,” an autumnal elixir that has notes of persimmon and autumn leaves.

These are, by the way, cold sakes, and Jamie has arrayed them as food pairings.

If you prefer wine, D.K. works with various winemakers to produce wines that work well with his food. On this night we tried a 2005 Muller Thurgau CF Wines Eurasia ($39 bottle), a pale, dry German wine that went well with the sushi, as did a 2006 Niersteiner Hipping CF Euro-Asian Riesling ($37 bottle). Ivy, who, like her boss, loves bringing new ideas and tastes to diners, brought out a glass of 2005 Green Lion Napa Merlot, made by Australian wine super-star Chris Ringland, which went astonishingly well with the lobster.

Sansei is located in the Waikiki Beach Marriott, and if it’s been a while, the entrance is from makai-bound Ohua Avenue.

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Introducing An Unusual’Cartoon’

Turn this page and you’ll find the newest MidWeek feature: Don Asmussen’s Bad Reporter.

I can assure you that this is the only time I’ve attempted to bring a “bad reporter” into these pages.

While officially called an editorial cartoon, it’s a very non-traditional sort - creating fake newspaper front pages and headlines, based on actual news.

To me, it’s terrific political/cultural satire - sort of like a late-night TV monologue, but funnier - and I hope it will bring you a few yucks, too.

Having added Ron Mizutani to our list of columnists three weeks ago, in this issue we introduce a new writer, Brandon Bosworth, who filed the Newsmaker story on energy expert Fereidun Fesharaki, a fellow at the East-West Center. A native of Iran, he sees $6-a-gallon gasoline unavoidably on our horizon. Yikes.

On another note, kudos to our cousins at the Star-Bulletin for publishing the important Esquire magazine article that led to Adm. William Fallon’s resignation/ouster as the head of the U.S. Central Command, which has oversight of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But I must disagree with critics who compared Fallon’s disagreement with the Bush administration’s Iran policy to President Harry Truman canning Gen. Douglas MacArthur during the Korean War. The big difference is that MacArthur wanted to nuke the Chinese, then as now North Korea’s biggest ally, while Fallon, former head of U.S. Pacific Command at Camp Smith, wanted to avoid another war for our troops, possibly World War III.

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So How Do You Want To Be Dead?

My kids have probably received better Christmas presents than the one I gave them a couple of months ago - a funeral plan for their dear old Dad.

Uh, gee, thanks.

But they’ve never received a more expensive gift - not counting college - not to mention one that will save them a lot of hassles and headaches on the day that is certain to come, and in the days after.

No, as I reassured them and a couple of friends with whom I shared this news, I am not planning on being dead any time soon. I’m in good health, exercise more days than not, passed a treadmill stress test last year, love my work and love my life. I plan on being around for quite a while, enjoying my version of the good life in Hawaii.

But you never know, and this was something I felt that I needed to take care of. I share it now with MidWeek readers only as something you may want to think about for yourself. Or not.

Look at it this way: We buy car insurance and home insurance, not knowing if we’ll ever need them. So why not buy “insurance” for one of the few certainties in life?

I’d actually been thinking about buying a funeral plan for a few years, but always managed to put it off. But then last fall I received a mailer from Hawaiian Memorial Park. Not long after, I was sitting down at the Kaneohe cemetery with Linda Herman to look at and talk about all of the options.

Linda was very informative and helpful, and I actually found the process to be interesting - thinking through how I want to be dead. What I decided is that when the time comes, I want to be dead in a way that is consistent with how I’ve lived (minus the, uh, deadlines).

Before meeting with Linda, I was pretty certain I wanted to be cremated. Going through the process with her, I decided that’s definitely what I want.

But then what? Linda drove me out to a scenic overlook at Hawaiian Memorial Park, where urns are entombed in a variety of stones or in large family settings. As a single guy, I was just looking for a puka, and found a spot beside a babbling waterfall with both mountain and ocean views. It’s a lovely spot, and for a day I thought about being there. On a return visit, though, I realized that my urn would be about a foot away from a woman, Margaret somebody, born 1941, died 2005. She was probably a very nice person, but I didn’t know her. And what if she talks all the time?

So I ultimately decided to have my kids scatter my ashes at a special place at the base of the Ko’olau mountains with a view of Kaneohe Bay (and even of the MidWeek plant; the editor will be watching). It’s a beautiful, peaceful place, one to which I’ve taken them and other family and friends over the years. The kids and I went there when my daughter Dawn was home for Christmas, and as she said, “This is like your sanctuary here, Dad. I can’t imagine you being anywhere else.”

Or as my son Kai said, “Yeah, Pops, I can see coming up here and having a couple of beers with you ... Eh, howzit, home boy?”

The package I bought, including cremation and a funeral service, came to about $4,500. I also bought what could be my last plane trip to Honolulu. If I die off Oahu, the cost of my ticket home is paid. (Do you get miles with that?)

The package also came with a sort of workbook, in which I left my kids information on financial accounts, Social Security, insurance and other information they’ll need, including names and numbers of people I’d like to be notified.

At the same time, I contacted the UH John A. Burns School of Medicine and filled out papers to become a Willed Body Program donor.

Hey, if there’s a body that should be studied by science, it’s this one!

When UH medical students are done with me after a year or so, the school will cremate me and return me to my kids, after a ceremony in which other body donors are also honored. Medical students say their best teachers are these body donors, and it’s comforting to think I’ll be doing some good when I’m gone - that a person yet unborn at the time of my demise will benefit years later from a medical student’s hands-on education.

And if UH accepts me - gosh, I feel like a hopeful would-be freshman again! - my kids can roll over (so to speak) my funeral plan to use for themselves or get a partial refund. Up to them.

For more information on the UH program, Google “jabsom” and then click on departments, then on Anatomy. There’s a link to the Willed Body Program in the second paragraph.

Now that all this is decided, I feel a kind of calm - knowing that I’m choosing how and where I’ll be dead, and that my kids will not have to worry about taking care of (and paying for) all this. As Linda Herman put it, heartache is bad enough without the headaches.

By the way, my kids (now 24 and nearly 23) also got another present for Christmas. I took our old Hi-8 home videos to Alan Nielsen at Affordable Image, and he converted them to DVDs, about 10 hours in all. They enjoyed seeing and hearing themselves again as children as much as I did, and they say this one does rate among the best presents they’ve ever received.

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Bring Back The Rainbows

Good luck to June Jones, and thanks a ton for the season that none of us who lived through it will ever forget, but ...

Can we please have the Rainbows back now?

As much as Coach Jones accomplished, he was also a sometimes divisive force - just ask Joe Moore and Larry Price. The coach’s banning of Rainbows as our team’s name, and even of the rainbow logo, because for him it conjured up images of a gay rights parade is one of the silliest and most insecure things I’ve ever heard.

Whoever the new coach is - and if so many assistant coaches and players want Greg McMackin, then I’m all for him - I hope that we can return to the Rainbow Warriors.

And as much as I like the H logo and the modern uniforms, how about at least once a season bringing back the retro kelly green jerseys and somehow incorporating a rainbow onto the black/dark green unis?

And please, please, can we get rid of the silver pants and helmets? When did that become an official school color? (Only June knows.) And what does silver have to do with Hawaii? To quote the band War (which is coming to town), “Absolutely nothing!”

Another question: Why did state legislators wait so darn long to actually check out facilities on campus? It’s been nearly a year since Colt Brennan first starting talking publicly about the decrepit conditions on campus, and it was a topic for commentators on every ESPN broadcast of a UH game this season as well as during the Sugar Bowl on Fox. And as former hoops coach Riley Wallace said on Jeff Portnoy’s radio talk show on 1500AM last week, when athletic director Herman Frazier came in he was presented a poll of UH coaches and at the top of everyone’s list of priorities was facilities. Frazier promised to improve facilities and obviously failed. So the problem wasn’t exactly a secret, and legislators and the governor dropped the ball long ago.

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A Drunken Idiot, Taxes, Evel, Sevey